Growing up.

As blogged by my 17 year old - going on 30 - son, Kyle. Oh to be 17 again....


Sunday, April 13, 2008

A blog for the broken hearted...

If life seems to get you down because a recent love has let you down, then heres my philosophy to you!

You need to be strong. Plain and simple as that, and if you think it is too tough to do, then remember this simple fact:

The heart is a muscle, and like any other muscle among your fleshy being, it can get torn, damaged, hurt, crushed, bruised, or any number of those other "charming" words. And like those other muscles when it gets the chance to recover, it will heal stronger than ever before and will be that much harder to break the next time around.

With that said, you need to be, and can be strong. All you need to do is stay positive, keep moving forward in your life, and give your heart all the time it needs to recover. If you try to force your heart into a speedy recovery by lying to yourself and saying it doesn't hurt, then you wont strengthen your heart; you will harden it. If you harden your heart, you will only put a shell around it that is harder for others to get into, but if you strengthen your heart, you will eventually love again and it will be more powerful than ever before.

Another thing is that you can't dwell on the past, because the painful fact is that you can't change it. Your muscles are weak and they will rip easily if they haven't fully healed, so if you keep sulking over something that can't be helped you will perpetually negate any, and all progress you have made on the road to recovery. Distance yourself from the painful thoughts by distracting yourself with other things like work, school, or even some new people (just make sure they aren't the wrong kind of people). Keep trudging through the darkness of your tunnel. Before you know it you will be through the gloom and see that there is a big world just waiting for you to put your mark on it, and you can't make that mark if you don't get out there.

So when you are feeling down just take a step back, a couple of deep breaths, and know that things will get better as long as you perservere through your tribulations and keep moving forward. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and when you're stronger, you can achieve that much more. Just remember that your heart is a muscle, and the only way to make muscles stronger is to put them through a workout. And the more difficult and more painful the workout is, the stronger your muscles will become.


Whatever happens happens, and its always for a reason!

P.S. If my advice doesn't help, then read this through once more, but with "Move Along" by The All-American Rejects playing in the background.

Gloom? Doom? or just plain Melancholy?

I don't know what it is about the last couple of days, but I'm just not my happy little self. Maybe it's the weather - sunny one moment, over-cast and gloomy the next? Maybe it's the overwhelming sense of lots to do and not enough time to do it? Maybe it's....

I just can't seem to snap out of it. I feel tired and a bit rundown. Chilled to the bone. Even the instant coffee I've been putting in my hot chocolate hasn't had the "perky" effect on me that it usually does.

I am happy that the changes around the house are moving in a positive direction. I'm very proud of Kyle for winning 1st place Academic Masters at his school in Social Studies - the next level of competition takes place on April 23 - which just so happens to be my birthday. Ty seems to be doing ok in Austin. A.J. is doing ok in school, with his friends and his girl ... friend. Phillip continues to work hard everyday - I can't even begin to imagine the pressure, but thank you, honey.

Maybe it's because I've been home more than usual and that is throwing me out of sync. ??? Funny, though. I really do like being home and tinkering, but I just can't get out of the funk I'm in right now. I can't seem to focus - even with my glasses on or my contacts in!

Maybe tomorrow will be clearer and brighter. Maybe...."the sun will come out tomorrow..."

I AM SO READY FOR SOME WARM AND SUNNY DAYS!!!!!!

*** photo is of me on Christmas Day many years ago. Must have been in a "frump" then as well.

Introducing....Myles!

So this is Myles. (pronounced: Miles)

He is A.J.'s new veiled Chameleon. He is approximately 30 days old. A.J. put him on lay-away a couple of weeks ago (well, not exactly him, but the "future" him). Yesterday, afterschool, A.J. got an email from the reptile shop that the Chameleons had arrived. A.J. could hardly contain himself. He wanted to go into town NOW! But, alas, he would have to wait and practice patience.

So, today, since there was no school, A.J went in to work with Phillip. Erik and the two of them had "craft-day" at work building a Chameleon cage. After work, Phillip, A.J. and I, went to the store to take a look. They had two, a male & a female on display - and approximately 100 more upstairs! Yes, 100!!! Apparently, these little reptiles lay 30+ eggs per clutch! Poor mommies!!! I've got 3 kids. I can't imagine adding a zero!!!

Anyway, A.J. picked the male and he held him. Now if you know me at all, you know that reptiles make my skin crawl. I can appreciate them from afar, like on t.v., but I'll jump out of my skin if even a teeny-tiny lizard runs anywhere near me. Even the sound of dry leaves crackling under their weight makes my skin get goose pimples! BUT - and this is HUGE! - I let A.J. put him on my hand and I actually held him. He was so little and calm. His movements are really slow like a little old man (or woman - maybe a woman of, say, 40!!!) His eye (singular) looked up a me and the other eye was looking a totally different direction to stare at A.J. Really weird to watch, but not creepy. I wasn't afraid!!! I wasn't even nervous! I even kind of liked him!!!!

A.J. has been working hard doing various chores and "sonny-do's" around the house to earn money to buy the cage materials, supplies, and Myles. He still has about $25 left to pay on him. Keep up the good work, A.J. and about the time your new room is ready for you, you'll have yourself a new roommate!

20 to 40!!!!

So, today I realized that I have 20 days until my 40th birthday. I've always thought it wouldn't be a big deal. I remember thinking, when each of my boys was born, that I would be 38 when Ty turned 18, 40 when Kyle turned 18 and then 43 when A.J. turned 18. So turning 40 really isn't a big deal. Almost everyone I know has already turned 40. I was always the "youngest". So why do I find myself thinking about it at least once or twice a day???

Maybe I'm supposed to think about it. As in, over-the-hill (or is that 50? - I hope, I hope!) Maybe 40 is the "new" 20??? Maybe, because my 25th wedding anniversary is only 2 years away?

Well, whatever the reason, I'm turning 40 in 20 days and life as I know it couldn't be better. Lots of changes happening where I live. The front porch is officially GONE. Non-existent. There is a huge chunk of roof-line missing and a wading pool where the concrete patio used to be. Maybe we shouldn't build a bedroom. Maybe the "pool" would be better???? No, not really. We've had a pool before and they really aren't all they're cracked up to be. Year-round maintenance for only a few weeks of pleasure. Now a spa on the other hand...that's one that's on the list of dreams...just outside the new master suite. Yes, that's the plan...Someday.....

So, now that the porch is gone, poor Wonka and our "inherited" outdoor cat, Hoodoo (therein lies another story!) don't know what to think. When I opened the soon-to-be-gone front door tonight, there they were, in the "pool", looking up to me. The look on Wonkas face says it all - "O.k. Mom, how am I supposed to open the door and let myself in now?" You see, ever since Phillip changed the front door handle to the thumb latch-type about 3 years ago, Wonka quickly learned how to let himself in the door.

Shortly following that discovery, we taught him to close the door on command. "Shut the door Wonka!" "Close the door Wonka!" Before long, we would hear him come in - toenails click-click on the floor - Then, WHAM! the door shuts! Ok. Maybe that's an exaggeration. It's not always a WHAM! Sometimes, he shuts it gently. So gently, that when we didn't hear the door shut, we tell him to close the door and he just stands there looking at us to say, "Hey, dummy. I already closed it!!!" Good dog.